Did you know that we have an EQ (Emotional Intelligence)? This is different from our IQ (Intellectual Intelligence). We can measure both types of intelligence. Our IQ tends to be static, while our EQ is dynamic. Emotional Intelligence is the ability to manage your own emotions and understand the emotions of people around you. There are five key elements to our EQ: 1. Self-Perception (self-regard, actualization, awareness). 2. Stress Management (flexibility with structure, stress management, positive outlook). 3. Self-expression (ability to appropriately express your emotions, healthy assertiveness, interdependence). 4. Decision Making (problem-solving, reality testing, impulse control). 5. Interpersonal (connectedness with others, empathy, ability to care for others, social responsibility).
Consider the following, part two of two lists, to improve your EQ, which will lead to healthier relational and spiritual lives.
1. We can recognize the needs of self and others: Those with emotional maturity can admit when they need help or burn out. We can acknowledge when you need a break and know when to ask your boss for a day off. We give without expecting anything in return. Emotionally mature Christians rise above the give-and-take. 1 Peter 3:8 says, “Finally, all of you, have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind.”
2. We can choose to be emotionally vulnerable: sharing what we think or feel. We can talk about ourselves with others, including problems we face, and ask for help in problem-solving. James 5:16, “Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed.”
3. We can choose to nurture others: Emotionally healthy people can share and care for others without expecting something in return. We have empathy, compassion, and support for others. We make suggestions and do not feel rejected if they are not taken. We can express feedback in affirming and supportive ways. Philippians 2:4 says, “Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.”
4. We can be honest with lovingkindness: Emotional maturity involves the ability to be clear about what they believe and feel, express anger in positive ways, express either negative or positive feelings, and openly share our disagreements or resentments. Ephesians 4:26, “Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger.”
5. We can play well with others: Emotionally healthy people can find humor in life and laugh easily. We put effort into non-work activities and search for opportunities to play. We feel free to take risks and try new ventures. We exhibit the ability to smell the roses, enjoy a sunset, and engage in celebrations of God’s creation. We are willing to play in non-competitive ways and do not feel guilty because they take time to play. We believe God loves us for who we are, not what we do. Ecclesiastes 3:4 says, “A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance.”
6. We choose to embrace a relational version of Christian living, believing God cares more about who we are than what we do. We know our limitations, and we have moved past trying to save the world. We are patient and hopeful, motivated by love to serve others. But we don’t allow our works for God to outweigh our time with God. Mark 10:42-45, “But whoever would be great among you must be your servant, and whoever would be first among you must be slave of all. For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”
This is the day the LORD has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it (Psalm 118:24)!