Bible Text: Philemon | Preacher: Pastor Steve | Series: Abiding in the Lord
Philemon 10-20 I appeal to you for my son Onesimus, whom I have begotten while in my chains…I am sending him back. You therefore receive him, that is, my own heart…perhaps he departed for a while for this purpose, that you might receive him forever, no longer as a slave but more than a slave — a beloved brother, especially to me but how much more to you, both in the flesh and in the Lord.  If then you count me as a partner, receive him as you would me. But if he has wronged you or owes anything, put that on my account.
Relational Forgiveness
The act of excusing or pardoning another for their sin, shortcomings, and errors.
Whereas forgiveness by God refers to pardoning or passing away of our sins and releasing from the penalty and effect of those wrongs.
Forgiving is Critical and Eternal
Matthew 6:14-15 If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins.
Relational Reconciliation
Two or more people who have been injured by someone’s action or inaction and they are willing to forgive and then reconnect relationally in some way rather than remain separated or end the relationship.
Three Basic Types of Forgiveness
Beginning Forgiveness: There is a reduction in negative feelings toward the offender
Middle Forgiveness: There is a reduction in negative feelings toward the offender and we are open to the idea of restoration with the offender
Complete Forgiveness: The negative feelings toward the offender are gone and there is a willingness to move towards reconciliation if it is appropriate and the other party is interested and willing.
When we forgive we are committing to NOT:
…think, ruminate or meditate about the event(s)
…bring the incident up again unless we need to talk
…use the episode against you in any shape or form
…talk to others about what happened, no gossiping
Relational Unforgiveness
We can’t live with foreign objects, UNFORGIVENESS buried in our bodies or our souls or hearts.
2 Corinthians 2:9-11 For to this end I also wrote, that I might put you to the test, whether you are obedient in all things. Now whom you forgive anything, I also forgive. For if indeed I have forgiven anything, I have forgiven that one for your sakes in the presence of Christ, lest Satan should take advantage of us; for we are not ignorant of his devices.
…lest Satan should take advantage of us
Many people are willing to live—or feel they have to live—with spiritual ants, spiritual spiders, spiritual bedbugs, spiritual cockroaches, spiritual mice, spiritual rats, or spiritual termites. Why is it that some sins we tolerate in ourselves; others we won’t?
We are ignorant of our responsibility and authority in regards to the issue of forgiveness
John 20:21-23 So Jesus said to them again, Peace to you! As the Father has sent Me, I also send you. And when He had said this, He breathed on them, and said to them, Receive the Holy Spirit. If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven them; if you retain the sins of any, they are retained.
Ephesians 4:32 And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.
When we forgive, life in Jesus is released and when we don’t, unforgiveness becomes a hindrance of life in Jesus
Jeremiah 31:34 For I will forgive their iniquity, and their sin I will remember no more.
Psalm 103:12-13 As far as the east is from the west, So far has He removed our transgressions from us…
2 Corinthians 10:4-6 For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds, casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ…
WORSHIP
The renewing of our thinking is key to our transformation
We become new by the renewing our minds
Romans 12:1-2 …give your bodies to God because of all he has done for you. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice—the kind he will find acceptable. This is truly the way to worship him. Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. 
REMEMBER
Wholesome thoughts—right thinking—lead ultimately to a healthy worldview. This comes by remembering the Word
2 Peter 3:1-2 This is my second letter to you, dear friends, and in both of them I have tried to stimulate your wholesome thinking and refresh your memory. I want you to remember what the holy prophets said long ago and what our Lord and Savior commanded through your apostles
SOAK
Rebuild Our Minds Through Scripture
Psalm 1:1-3 Blessed is he, blessed is the man who does not walk in the way of the wicked Or stand in the way of sinners Or sit in the seat of mockers, but his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on His law he meditates day and night. He is like a tree planted by water,which yields its fruit in season And whose leaf does not wither. Whatever he does prospers.
The person who is soaked in the Word of God—not someone who just dribbles and dabs but is soaked in the Word of God is constantly freshened, shaped by the Word.
2 Timothy 1:7 For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind
How can we conquer and overcome our fears?
Power:dunamis; strength, power, ability
Love:agape;love, support and help
Sound-mind:sophronismos; calling to soundness of mind, and self-control or discipline
John 14:27 Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you…Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid
Psalm 34:4 I sought the Lord and he heard me and delivered me from all my fears
Isaiah 43:1-2 Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name; you are mine.  When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you.  When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned…