Bible Text: 1 Corinthians 6:12-20 | Preacher: Pastor Steve | Series: Marriage Matters
Bonding Is A Powerful Connection That Involves:
1 Corinthians 6:15-17 Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I then take the members of Christ and make them members of a harlot? Certainly not! Or do you not know that he who is joined to a harlot is one body with her? For the two, He says, shall become one flesh. But he who is joined to the Lord is one spirit with Him.
The Sensory Knowing Bond
There is a formula in your marriage for knowing each other:
The THREE T’s:
The Mental Trust Bond
What we learn from the sensory self and forms mental pictures of people that contribute to the bond of trusting;
Relational TRUST is the mental picture you have of someone
The Emotional Reliance Bond
This refers to the action of trust. Reliance grows from the ways that we look to our partner to meet our needs, and the ways that your partner also depends on you to meet their needs.
To be heard and known
To be affirmed (for what you do)
To be praised (for who you are)
The Relational Commitment Bond
Provides the need for social contact and relationships. This refers to the definition or extent we belong to someone in a relationship.
Loyalty to our partner flows from the promises we have made in marriage and the deep feeling that I belong to you and you belong to me.
The Spiritual Closeness Bond
Provides the need for soul contact and sharing through prayer, worship, service, growing, devotions, community, learning, etc.
The Sexual Contact Bond
Provides the drives and desires for sexual closeness. It is a powerful, God-given drive that has been distorted, abused and misused.
Physical pair bonding has FOUR phases: Matthew 19:6 What God joins together let no one separate
Phase 1 In Physical Pair Bonding
Leaving family of origin: No physical contact. Attraction is private, nonpublic.
Step 1: Eye to Body: Eureka stage: Where have YOU been all my life!
Step 2: Eye-to-Eye: Gazing stage: one- or two-sided, heartbeat quickening.
Step 3: Voice-to-Voice: Introductions, trivial talk, getting to know you.
Phase 2 In Physical Pair Bonding
Connection begins: First touches, but not directly sexual. Attraction becomes public.
Step 4: Hand-to-Hand: Making the first social statement; we belong together.
Step 5: Arm to Shoulder: Not yet a hug, but a gesture of ownership.
Step 6: Arm to Waist: The couple pulls close, but their faces are still “forward” physically—still processing
Phase 3 In Physical Pair Bonding
Intimate contact: no direct sexual contact
Step 7: Face-to-Face: Mouth-to-mouth, intimate kissing; intense gazing face to face; increase in nonverbal messages.
Step 8: Hand to Head: Denotes absolute trust. The head is the most vulnerable part of the body, and few have permission to touch it.
Step 9: Hand to Body: Ultimate appreciation for the way the person occupies space (excluding the genitals). It is the person who is known and respected.
Phase 4 In Physical Pair Bonding
Two Becoming One: Naked and unashamed.
Step 10: Mouth to Breast
Step 11: Hand to Genital
Step 12: Genital-to-Genital
The Parental Bond
Provides the need to procreate and reproduce in the image of our Creator
Three Key Marital Principles:
Enough of a good thing is never enough
One thing leads to another
Never stop giving and growing